Today’s guest is Alex B Porter to discuss her first non-fiction work.
Please welcome Alex.
How understanding the clitoral organ can improve your sex life
This year I wrote my first non-fiction book. Actually, that’s a bit of a lie: I started 2017, then life took over and everything stopped. The book was finished late 2018 and published February 2019. It’s called The Cunnilinguist: How To Give And Receive Great Oral Sex and was inspired by a fan of my fiction series, Branding Her. Starting life as a bit of a giggle, the manuscript grew into short book of cunnilingus tips and then it took on a life of its own. I’m honored to have been joined by gender and sexuality educator Susan Harper PhD on editing and Foreword duties, from whom I learned a lot and who really turned this book into something special.
Research differences between fiction and non-fiction
One of the biggest differences between writing fiction and non-fiction is the planning and research phase; fiction is very much about plot and character, whilst non-fiction is focused on fact and logic. I can’t use my imagination to fill knowledge gaps in non-fiction the way I can with fiction and so, when the book really started becoming something more serious than a list of sex tips, I dug into a lot of research.
I’m not particularly academic in the traditional sense and science was never a strong point, but my biggest personal takeaways from writing this book came from the social sciences – gender and sexuality, alongside psychology and female anatomy. Today I’m going to share with you a few findings and images from the anatomy section; the secret of the clitoral organ and pudendal nerve. These are two anatomical areas I had never read much about until I took a deeper dive into the subject.
The Clitoral Organ
I’m a thirty-something lesbian in a long-term relationship who has had plenty of fun and diverse relationships in the past, so I’m pretty familiar with female anatomy and pleasure points in their natural form. What I’m not familiar with are the unfleshly versions: Diagrams. And what I’ve never taken time to study are the facts as to why these pleasure points exist and how they can be used, or better understood, to enhance pleasure.
I mean, I’ve always known the clit runs deep and there’s much more to it than that little nub, but until recently I wasn’t fully aware of its extent or shape. That’s hardly a surprise considering it has been either omitted or under-represented in most literature until the late 20th Century. I personally cannot remember the clit ever being mentioned in high school education, never mind it’s extent and purpose.
Figure 1 shows the clitoral organ. At the top-right there is a simple vulva diagram – that should help you familiarize with what you are looking at (And yep, it’s called a vulva, not a vagina. Vulva=external parts, vagina=internal).
The little bit of the clitoris that forms part of the vulva is marked as “Head of Clitoris” and yes, this tiny nub is all you see above the surface. The head of the clitoris contains approximately 8,000 nerves and is around 50 times more sensitive than a penis. As far as we know, the sole purpose of the clitoris is to provide pleasure.
The clitoral organ travels down the inner labia (lips), around the urethra and the front-most area of the vagina. Essentially this organ is the endpoint of a large nerve called the pudendal nerve. A nerve that we all have, regardless of gender.
The Pudendal Nerve
The clitoris is connected to a network of nerves and hooks up to the spinal cord, central nervous system and brain via the Pudendal Nerve (Figure 2). The pudendal nerve comes off the lower spine, travels down the rectum and branches into the rectum, perineum and labia, finishing up as the dorsal nerve of the clitoris.
Now you have an idea of where these nerves run and are aware that the clitoris itself is a substantial organ, you can start to see why certain pleasure—and pain—points exist. It also hopefully provides some insight to that elusive G-spot, the ‘OMG, I need to pee’ feeling and why some people enjoy a little anal tinkering.
Seeing as you are unlikely to see your partner from this particular angle, here is another diagram (Figure 3) that is hopefully more familiar.
The pudendal nerve is paired, it comes off the spinal cord as left-right branches. As you can see, there are major branches into the anal and perineal areas, however the main nerve(s) travel down the labia, becomes the dorsal nerve of the clitoris and eventually the pair (almost) reconnect in that super-sensitive area we commonly refer to as “the clit”.
Sensitivity and bringing it all together
Nerve sensitivity in the genital and pelvic region can differ from person to person and from moment to moment. The distribution of nerves within the region also varies – these images are basic; there are thousands of nerve branches and their depth and position also varies person-to-person. These differences are some of the reasons why we have differing likes and dislikes. It also explains why some of us are more sensitive in areas than others. And remember, what can cause pleasure can also cause pain: Childbirth and genital surgery can cause nerve damage and make certain areas sensitive in a not-so-pleasurable manner, particularly around the perineum area. Be considerate.
In a nutshell: taking the time to have a basic understanding of female anatomy will help make you not only a more effective lover, but a more considerate one.
by Alex B Porter
The Cunnilinguist is a refreshingly modern guide to oral sex with a sense of humor. Written by a woman with experience at both ends of the tongue, this guide will build your confidence in giving —or receiving— oral sex.
You’ll learn tested tips, tricks and techniques that any giver or receiver can try. The Cunnilinguist: How To Give And Receive Great Oral Sex has insights and tips for readers from beginner to advanced, single to married, and regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Lesbian fiction author Alex B Porter writes lesbian stories and steamy lesbian romance series. At 32 years old, Alex hails from Shoreditch, London via Belfast but has spent significant time in the United States. She currently resides in East London with her lifetime partner, a talented artist, and their only “child”, Neko the cat. Alex was unhappy in her hectic, big-city career, and recently ditched the corporate world to pursue her dream of writing and curating ‘romantica’ (romantic erotica) for lesbian, bi and women. She feels lesbian sex and sexuality is misrepresented and wishes to empower women to explore their sexuality. When she isn’t spinning her sexy stories to the beat of a large Merlot, Alex enjoys travel, music, the arts, and experimentation.
CONNECT WITH ALEX B PORTER
Thanks so much for stopping by today.