I don’t know about you, but the world seems to be getting pretty (insert your favorite colorful word here) intense. While I like to stay informed, I also like to laugh to deal with stress. And, I need some chuckles these days.
Today, the wonderful Jean Copeland is here to help us laugh with an embarrassing story. Also, Jean is giving away an ecopy of Spellbound. Below the guest post, you’ll find more details about the giveaway.
Take it away Jean.
High Times and Misdemeanors at Women’s Week
I wish I could say this highly embarrassing moment happened long ago in the heyday of a misspent youth. But alas, I cannot. The moment I’m sharing is far more mortifying as it happened recently in Women’s Week, Provincetown, MA, in what could only be described as a glimpse into a misspent middle-age.
An auspicious beginning to the extended weekend quickly plummeted into debauchery thanks to some fervent mid-afternoon pre-gaming with vodka, after which my friends and I shuffled down to the Harbor Lounge for the annual Bold Strokes Books meet and greet. This time-honored autumn tradition in which we “esteemed” authors socialize with each other and the devoted readers who join us for the annual pilgrimage is the quintessential moment when one should put her best foot forward. Regrettably, after putting my fourth cosmo forward, my comportment began to resemble less an esteemed novelist and more an amalgam of, oh, let’s say a drunken uncle and a guy named Chad at an Ivy-league frat party.
How do I know this? Not from my own memory but from details I strung together from reports that began rolling in the next day as I ran into each woman I’d encountered the night before in my early-bird, vodka-fueled stupor.
By all accounts, I gaily careened through the meet and greet crowd, spilled some of my cosmo on a reader’s shoe or hand or both, (clearly, not enough of it to slow me down), and lied to a bartender so a friend could smuggle in a contraband screwdriver, a flagrant breech of P-town’s open-container law.
One of the highlights was when I lost my footing and landed face-first into the ample cleavage of a BSB volunteer. I refer to this as one of the highlights because, well, yes, it got worse. The final puzzle piece fell into place when I’d returned to the scene of the crime Saturday night to bid farewell to other authors. It was there that a harvest moon brought to light the full extent of my inglorious escapades.
Apparently, in greeting a popular author and acquaintance, I’d slammed her with a wet one on the lips instead of the more decorous and less male-politician-over-60 cheek-air kiss. Upon lamenting that I had “Me-too-ed” her and thus, doomed my chances of a potential Supreme Court nomination in the future, she’d graciously replied, “It’s okay. I consent.” After she’d said that it, I allegedly laid another one on her.
While I am in no way qualified to campaign for a Supreme Court nomination, (I’m not even a lawyer), a girl still likes to dream. What’s worse is that I behaved like the druncle nobody wants to sit near on holidays, and that is not okay for several reasons, not the least of which is that I’ve always been the cool lesbian aunt everyone wants to sit near.
Despite the cringe-worthy embarrassment and two potential misdemeanor charges, Women’s Week was amazing, as always. I reveled in my lucid moments with friends, powered through a reading under the spell of a dreadful hangover, and learned how gracious and tolerant women can be in the most trying of situations. I also gleaned that while my alter ego, Vodka Jean, likes to come out and play occasionally at home, she has no business accompanying me on trips where making a classy impression is in order.
Viva la cosmopolitans.
by Jackie D. & Jean Copeland
Hazel Abbot spent her whole life unaware she was a witch. When a spell thrusts her great-aunt Sarah Hutchinson forward from the Salem witch trials of 1692 and lands her in Hazel’s bookstore, everything Hazel thought she knew about herself changes. Complicating matters, Raven Dare, a supernatural hunter, informs her that they’ve all been summoned by the Queen Witch, Morgan le Fay.
Morgan compels Hazel, Sarah, and Raven to correct the shift in the realms of good and evil by ridding the world of the evil that followed Sarah into modern day. If they fail, the forces of white magic will be extinguished forever. But completing the perilous mission, convincing Sarah to return to Puritan life, and resisting their growing attraction for each other might prove more difficult than Hazel and Raven ever anticipated.
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Thanks so much for stopping by today.