I don’t know about you, but the world seems to be getting pretty (insert your favorite colorful word here) intense. While I like to stay informed, I also like to laugh to deal with stress. And, I need some chuckles these days.
Today, the fabulous Aurora Rey is here to help us laugh with an embarrassing story. Also, Aurora is giving away 1 ecopy of The Last Place You Look. Below the guest post, you’ll find more details about the giveaway.
Take it away, Aurora.
The First Time I Went Commando
So, I’m going to go back to the most wretched of all times—middle school. Fifth grade to be exact.
The day in question came shortly after my mother enrolled me in Weight Watchers for the first time. (This part isn’t comical, but I won’t soap box y’all about fat-shaming ten-year-olds and I promise the rest of the story is worth it.)
You may know that one of the hallmarks of WW through the years is drinking eight glasses of water a day. To be fair, I’m still a big advocate of this and swear I have better skin, fewer headaches, and generally better health because of it.
But I digress.
The thing was, trying to drink eight glasses of water after school was hard. In an effort to help me check off all the little glasses on my food tracking sheet, Mama got special permission for me to take my Super Squeeze water bottle to school with me. (It came from 7-Eleven, held 32 ounces, and for some reason made me feel very cool.)
The very first day I was allowed to have it, I toted it around and slurped down a whole bottle before lunch. I was the queen of hydration.
Perhaps you can already tell where this is going.
The thing with drinking massive amounts of water is that you have to pee. All. The. Time.
Unfortunately, other than a break in the morning and lunch, there really wasn’t time to go to the bathroom. There were only three minutes between classes and I’m a pretty hardcore punctual rule follower type.
And so it happened that I found myself in PE class, playing kickball, and really, really needing to go. I’m not sure why asking to go to the bathroom during class was frowned upon, but I have a very clear memory that it was, so I didn’t ask. I also remember faking a cut on my finger and asking if I could go wash it out. That got a no.
Being the rule follower, there was no way in hell I was going to just walk off without permission. And so I peed my pants, right there on second base.
In hindsight, I was lucky to have been outside. And in my PE uniform. I somehow escaped notice (or maybe I’ve blocked out that part?) and had dry clothes to change into after class. Except my underwear, of course. I’m pretty sure that was the first time in my life I went commando. To this day, not a fan. (And now I wonder if that’s why?)
Needless to say, the Super Squeeze remained home after that. Hydration be damned.
GIVEAWAY
THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK
by Aurora Rey
Julia Pierce can think of nothing more humiliating than her wife of eight years leaving her for her personal trainer. Oh, wait. She can. Without a career or a place to go when that exact thing happens, she’s forced to move home and take a job at her family’s winery.
Taylor Winslow has been in love with Julia since tenth grade. Not the desperate, pining sort, but the kind that never really went away. When Julia reappears, Taylor has a chance to finally win her heart. The only problem? Julia’s hell-bent on making up for lost time by dating every eligible lesbian in town.
Signing on as Julia’s wingman may land Taylor in the friend zone for good, but it’s a gamble she’s willing to take. With Taylor in her corner, will Julia find love, and herself, where she least expects it?
MEET THE AUTHOR
Aurora Rey is a college dean by day and award-winning lesbian romance author the rest of the time, except when she’s cooking, baking, riding the tractor, or pining for goats. She grew up in a small town in south Louisiana, daydreaming about New England. She keeps a special place in her heart for the South, especially the food and the ways women are raised to be strong, even if they’re taught not to show it. After a brief dalliance with biochemistry, she completed both a B.A. and an M.A. in English.
She is the author of the Cape End Romance series and several standalone contemporary romance novels and novellas. She has been a finalist for the Lambda Literary, RITA®, and Golden Crown Literary Society awards, but loves reader feedback the most. She lives in Ithaca, New York with her dog and whatever wildlife has taken up residence in the pond.
CONNECT WITH AURORA REY
Thanks so much for stopping by today.
So sweet. I was not a rule follower but didn’t want to be on anyone’s radar. In 4th grade I was bored a lot and Mrs. Pappas was not the most observant teacher. I always was seated at the end of the first row. (alphabetic seating charts!) The boy next to me was a “bad” boy. We used to shoot spit balls up to the lights above us. And they stuck. One day, Mrs. Pappas happened to between us asking him a question when a couple of them fell onto my desk. Well, she looked over at me, and I was as red as your top in your pic… that was my first time having to serve detention….
I feel your pain, sister! Been there–done that! First grade. I was terrified of my teacher so I wouldn’t ask to go. That was the last day that I ate or drank anything before I had to go to school until I was in 8th grade!