I don’t know about you, but the world seems to be getting pretty (insert your favorite colorful word here) intense. While I like to stay informed, I also like to laugh to deal with stress. And, I need some chuckles these days.
Today, the wonderful Cindy Rizzo is here to help us laugh with an embarrassing story. Also, Cindy is giving away 1 ecopy of Exception to the Rule and Love is Enough. Below the guest post, you’ll find more details about the giveaway.
Take it away, Cindy.
That’s Your Sister
It wasn’t quite a destination wedding because one of the brides had grown up in Columbus, Ohio, though she and her partner now lived in Brooklyn. So we dutifully made our way to my wife’s hometown of Cincinnati, visited her mom, then borrowed her mom’s car, and drove up to Columbus.
My wife, who is the travel planner in our family (though really I’m the more experienced traveler, and she always brings way too much stuff, always checks her luggage and is always the last person to board the plane – but I digress) booked us into a Hampton Inn that was halfway between downtown Columbus–where the night before the wedding dinner event was being held, and where most out-of-town guests were staying–and the actual wedding venue, which was at a farm about 45 minutes outside of Columbus. That seemed reasonable to me and it was way cheaper.
So the wedding day came and I clocked the trip to the farm, which was about 20 minutes away from our hotel. We got dressed up and set out, using the Google Maps GPS on my phone. We found ourselves on a very scenic route, driving down country lanes with fields of corn and other assorted crops on both sides of us. Twenty minutes went by and when I looked down at the GPS, it said we still had 40 minutes left to the trip.
“That can’t be,” I told my wife.
“Pull over somewhere,” she responded.
I pulled over next to a tall corn stalk and looked closely at my phone. It was then that I realized that the GPS had been mistakenly set to bicycle mode. That explained the long trip, the beautiful country roads and the lack of steep hills. Had we been so inclined, we would have been on a very pleasant bike ride.
But there was a wedding to get to, which started at 5:30, and the GPS, when set to car mode, told us we’d be 10 minutes late.
“No worries,” said my wife. “Weddings never begin on time.”
Or so we thought.
Finally, we got to the farm, about 10 minutes late. We saw the white wooden folding chairs all set up in rows on the lawn outside the barn and a white chuppah (wedding canopy) in front of them. It looked like the ceremony had actually started on time. :::sigh:::
Miraculously, there was one parking spot open and we took it, and quietly left the car to find our seats. But as I stood by the driver’s side door, I heard a loud alarm go off and looked around to see where it was coming from.
Oh no, it was coming from our car! And we were interrupting the entire wedding with the loud beeping of an alarm I didn’t even know the car had, with no idea how to turn it off.
I looked for my wife, who was crouched down behind the car, afraid that people would see her. Clearly she was not going to be helpful. I quickly jumped back into the driver’s seat, slipped the key in the ignition and the alarm stopped. For some unknown reason, when I took the key out and left the car, the alarm did not come back on. To this day, I have no idea why.
We did the walk of shame to the white wooden folding chairs in the back row, and the wedding continued.
The worst part of the whole story is that it was my wife’s brother, a close friend of the brides’, who was officiating. When the alarm went off, one of the brides turned to him and said. “That’s your sister.”
What will keep you safe—and sane—when you find yourself in a new and unfamiliar place convinced you’ll never find anyone like you?
For Robin and Tracy, it’s the rules they set for themselves as they begin their first semester at Adams University near Boston.
Robin is determined to hide in her room writing until she can get back to her homeless gay friends in New York City, whose easy exchange of sex and friendship inspires her creativity. She’s sworn off perfect princesses like Tracy Patterson, no matter how attractive she finds the mysterious Southerner on her hall with the long blonde hair and tight jeans.
And Tracy has no interest in cynical, smart-mouthed Northerners like Robin. She has her own set of rules—fine-tuned back home in North Carolina where she had a fake boyfriend and an uncomplicated string of older female lovers, including her mother’s best friend. Here at college, she already has her first conquest planned, and it’s certainly not Robin Greene.
This is a love story about two young women who can only find their true selves by finding one another. But are Robin and Tracy willing to give up all they think they know in order to find happiness?
Sometimes in life, the person who will matter most is the one who’s an exception to the rule.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Cindy Rizzo is the author of three novels, Getting Back (2015, Ylva Publishing), Love Is Enough (self-published, 2014), and Exception to the Rule (self-published, 2013), which won the 2014 Goldie for Best Debut Author. Her short stories have appeared in Unwrap These Presents (Ylva), Conference Call (Bella Books), and Language of Love (Ylva); and she has an essay in Our Happy Hours, LGBT Voices from the Gay Bars (Flashpoint Publ.). Her young adult speculative fiction novel, The Papercutter, will hopefully soon be scheduled for publication.
CONNECT WITH CINDY RIZZO
Thanks so much for stopping by today.
This one gave me a much needed laugh today!! Thank you, Cindy!