NO LEG TO STAND ON by Emily Noon

I don’t know about you, but the world seems to be getting pretty (insert your favorite colorful word here) intense. While I like to stay informed, I also like to laugh to deal with stress. And, I need some chuckles these days.

Today, the wonderful Emily Noon is here to help us laugh with an embarrassing story.

Take it away, Emily.

NO LEG TO STAND ON

 

I had an accident in which I dislocated my knee and busted all the ligaments. That wasn’t funny and neither was waking to find a metal bar bolted to my leg or the surgeries that followed. Fortunately, I had great support from my family/friends and that, along with a somewhat dark sense of humour that helps me see the funny side of otherwise embarrassing situations, got me through it.

Like the time I went to a gaming expo strapped in a full leg brace and got a death glare from a woman who thought I’d used the crowd as cover to grope her ass.

It was a nice ass but I was innocent!

I was holding onto my crutches for dear life fighting to stay upright and with the crowd so tightly packed I couldn’t shift my hand or the handle poking into her. I was mortified and desperate to explain so I found myself shouting to be heard over the noise, “Crutches! Crutches! I can’t move!”

My friends who were with me went from concerned to hysterical with laughter when I told them why I almost got slapped.

The other funny incident happened when I went for a check-up with my physiotherapist. I realised intense maintenance was needed before the visit as my bare legs hadn’t been exposed to the outside world in weeks, so I groomed meticulously. Or so I thought. The next day at the physio the young woman told me she’d step out of the room while I changed into shorts. All good so far. Except when I dropped my pants to change instead of seeing two smooth legs, I found to my horror I’d only shaved the injured leg!

I’ve never only shaved one leg. Why now? OMG…

Ever the optimist I tried to convinced myself she might not notice the hairy leg as she’d be too focused on examining the injured one.

Yeah right.

Turns out she wanted to massage both legs and laid side by side the contrast was painfully obvious.

Embarrassed I mumbled, “I forgot to shave both. I have no idea how that happened. Sorry.”

She burst out laughing and replied, “Yeah, I noticed.” Then she told me a funny story that happened to her while on holiday and by the end we were both laughing.

The next time she saw me she greeted me with a grin and a cheeky, “Did you get both legs this time?”

LATEST RELEASE

AURORA’S ANGEL

by Emily Noon
Available in Kindle Unlimited

A broken-winged angel trying to get home. Her escort a nocturnal huntress with a bloody past. It will be a dangerous journey – monsters are everywhere and the truly dangerous ones hide in plain sight.

Alone since her father’s brutal murder, Aurora has spent years hunting his killers. Battle-weary she’s ready to start over where no one knows who or what she is – she just has one last mission. Everything is going to plan until she discovers the beautiful winged girl caged underground. Her decision to rescue Evie and to help her get home safely, despite avians being infamous for selling out shapeshifters like Aurora to cutters and black-market flesh dealers, will put her on a perilous path.

As the women travel together their attraction grows but Aurora is guarding her lonely heart almost as much as her dangerous secrets and Evie is struggling to accept how important Aurora has become to her.

When their enemies conspire to kill them, they may be each other’s only hope. Aurora is powerful but she’s also emotionally scarred and it will be up to Evie to save her from herself and to fight for them – or innocent people will die along with the guilty ones and Aurora will disappear from Evie’s life forever.

 

MEET THE AUTHOR

Emily Noon always liked reading fantasies with a dark twist and if there was a romance between strong main characters to sweeten the deal, even better. After years of working in libraries while in secret creating magical worlds and lightly torturing her characters before giving them a happy ending, she decided to let them loose on the unsuspecting world. Aurora’s Angel is her debut novel and a Lambda Literary 2020 Finalist: Lesbian Romance. 

CONNECT WITH EMILY NOON

Facebook / Twitter / Website

Thanks so much for stopping by today.

About TBM

TB Markinson is an American living in England. When she isn’t writing, she’s traveling the world, watching sports on the telly, visiting pubs, or reading. Not necessarily in that order.
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