I don’t know about you, but the world seems to be getting pretty (insert your favorite colorful word here) intense. While I like to stay informed, I also like to laugh to deal with stress. And, I need some chuckles these days.
Today, the wonderful Renee Dahlia is here to help us laugh with an embarrassing story. Also, Renee is giving away 1 ecopy of Liability. Below the guest post, you’ll find more details about the giveaway.
Take it away, Renee.
A Car Too Awful to Nick
I was going to write about how we nearly ended up with a goat as a pet in the inner city, but after reading everyone else’s stories, I realised that story wasn’t up to the mark. I’d have to dig deeper into my collection of wild things that have happened to me and find something a lot more… well, more.
This is the story about a car I owned and the time it got stolen. When I was a uni student, I used to get up at an ungodly hour to go to work looking after racehorses. To save time, I had a little routine. I’d lay out my clothes beside the bed, then when the alarm went off at 4am, I’d throw on my clothes, grab a banana to eat, and jump in my crappy car to drive to work. This car cost me $200; it had no locks, and a huge hole in the radiator. I had to put water in it more often than petrol. Well, when I say no locks, it technically had them, but you could open them with a stick, so not really “working locks that actually locked the car.”
One morning, I jumped in the car and had to readjust the seat and mirror. I’m super short (5’1) and that morning I couldn’t reach the pedals. I don’t actually remember the details but knowing my uni days, I was probably a little hungover as well as half asleep, so I just moved the seat, turned on the car and started driving to work. When I was turning into the driveway, I realised that I was out of fuel.
“Fucking piece of shit car. Now it has a hole in the gas tank. Damn it, I need a new car.”
I slammed the door and went to work. I never really considered it work because I got to spend hours hanging out with racehorses. After the morning shift, and the horses were exercised, washed, and fed, the boss would feed everyone breakfast, then I’d go off to uni where I’d often be seen sleeping through calculus. Still passed though!
It wasn’t until I got back to my share house later that morning that one of my flatmates mentioned that they’d seen a car just like mine driving past the pub the night before that I remembered that the seat and mirror had been in the wrong place. The theory was that someone stole my car, realised it was awful, and returned it. The world’s most polite thief? (Probably one of my flatmate’s mates, but I’ll never know for sure).
But you know the thing that annoyed me the most. They used all my petrol and I was poor. How rude!
The best part of this story is that a few months later, someone from work offered me $300 for it, so I sold the car for more than I bought it for. He actually only gave me $290 in cash. But I’d say we both got a win in the end.
by Renee Dahlia
NEVE LEE, mechanic and ex-porn star, has saved up enough to grow her garage business in the direction of her dreams—restoring old cars. She used the job as Maiden Heaven to save up enough money to start her own mechanic’s shop, and now she’s branched out to buy an ancient Mini to restore. Crashing the car into someone’s garden wall might just end her dream until she can pay for the damage. She doesn’t expect the owner of the wall to be a fan of hers, and when Jessica proposes to invest in her restoration business, Neve can’t resist. The money gets her closer to her goals, and Jessica… Well, she’s hot and doesn’t judge her for her past. A foster kid who was shuttled through many homes before she ended up with Mrs Farrellton, Neve has put the issues with her birth parents behind her. Or so she thinks. A letter will change everything she believed about herself…
JESSICA BEAUMONT is a self-made tech billionaire who lives alone in a mansion on the leafy north shore of Sydney. She is introverted and single, and very particular about how her life is set up. With wealthy white parents who think her queerness is ‘just a phase’, she’s focused on her tech business. She tells herself she’s happy, but in reality, she’s hiding a guilty secret and feels like she’d be a liability to a partner. When Neve crashes, literally, into her house, Jessica wants to give something back to the porn star who helped her survive a tough time in her life. Her enthusiastic investment in Neve’s business is an excuse to be closer to Maiden Heaven. But will Jessica’s money and her guilt both prove to be the liability that Jessica always worried about. Can she learn to forgive herself, and will Neve forgive her when Jessica’s fan fetish screws up everything between them?
Please be aware that this book contains descriptions of death during an accident and subsequent injury to one of the main characters, drug addiction, foster kid meeting a biological parent.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Renee Dahlia is a bisexual writer of romance. She is an unabashed romance reader who loves feisty women and strong, clever men. Her books reflect this, with a sidenote of dark humour. Renée has a science degree in physics. When not distracted by the characters fighting for attention in her brain, she works in the horse-racing industry doing data analysis and writing magazine articles. When she isn’t reading or writing, Renée spends her time with her partner and four children, volunteers on the local cricket club committee, and is the Secretary of Romance Writers Australia.
CONNECT WITH RENEE DAHLIA
Thanks so much for stopping by today.